Autoflusherphobia

Jude: "I scared of flushing."
Kwang: "If you sit down, it won't flush."
Jude: "Red light! Red light! It's blinking! I'm all done, Ah-bbah! We gotta get out of here! We gotta get out of here!"
Kwang: (forcing Jude to sit on the toilet to finish his business) "No Jude, you're NOT done."
Jude: "We gotta get out of here!" (then realizing he's not done & feeling an urge) Oh! More coming..."

Let's all look at this picture of my snuggable, huggable, cute-as-a-buggable Eli and adore him for just a moment because THERE IS NO AUDIO FOR PICTURES OF BABIES WHO CRY WAY TOO MUCH:

My sister-in-law Bonnie called today and somewhere in our convo mentioned that Eli cries like any normal child and is just unfortunate to have an easy-going older brother to be compared with. So sweet of her to try and convince me of that. But really folks, how many parents out there are like my husband-- so confident that they are willing to give $20 to anyone who can hold their child without having him cry for two minutes? One minute? Heck, 10 seconds? We had a lot of takers tonight at a birthday party but no winners. Pretty ridiculous, you think? We haven't even scratched the surface of ridiculous. I'd say Eli PRETTY MUCH INVENTED RIDICULOUS.

 

Why Eli Probably Won't Start School Until He's 12

This past Thursday was Jude's last day of school. His class consisted mostly of boys, but my personal favorite was a little gal named Tessa whose delightful personality I absolutely adored. It's cute that Jude did, too. Here is a casual conversation I overheard a few weeks ago while washing dishes:

Kwang: "Is Ah-bbah pretty?"
Jude: "No."
Kwang: "Then who do you think is pretty?"
Jude: "Uhm-mah and Tessa."

It's summer! I can't tell the difference between the seasons in SoCal, but one way I know it is warmer out is when Kwang begins to conveniently pass all of our king-size comforter onto my side of the bed to the point where you cannot tell I am even in the bed because all you see is a mound of Calvin Klein Meadowgrass. I got him this lightweight blanket for Christmas because the only gifts he fully appreciates are those that are functional, useful, and necessary-- to sum it up: boring. AND... AND I had to reassure him that I got it with a COUPON... while it was on SALE. Anyway, no matter how warm the weather is, for some reason I always need a blanket. So I guess I'm partly to blame. But this is actually good for Kwang, because in the early morning he suddenly decides he needs a blanket after all. So in his sleep, he takes back all but a teeny tiny corner of blanket for me to sleep with. When I wake up, I find myself holding onto this little triangle for dear life. This scenario happens on a regular basis, but I can't complain too much (I'll just complain once to everyone on the internet), because this is the only time I can think of when he is neglectful of my feelings. When he's asleep. So that's not so bad. I realize all of this makes for a very boring read and, like you, I have no idea why I'm writing it. Anywhoooo....

Eli is still his unbearably cute self. Too bad no one can actually witness his loveableness except us. This has been quite an awakening after having an easy baby like Jude who went to anyone at any time. Last Sunday, I left Eli in the church nursery and informed the caretakers that I was fine with him crying but would be back to check up on them. By "them" I meant the babysitters. Yes, I would return to make sure they were still of sound mind and had not yet pulled out all their hair. So when I went back after the message, I learned that our little Eli had cried not only for the first few minutes, or even 10. The boy cried for THE ENTIRE LENGTH OF THE SERMON. NONSTOP. And probably without once stopping to catch his breath, he is that talented. Today was no better. I think we are officially the first family to WANT to leave their kid at the church nursery and have him cry it out only to have him brought right back to us.

To end on a less depressing note, one of the only things Eli loves that is not of the edible variety is a ball. A basketball, baseball, soccer ball, any ball. So when he found out that there was a ball actually ATTACHED to his body, he was very fascinated:

 

Their Dad

The other evening as Kwang was putting Jude to bed, I overheard the voices of Shrek, Donkey, and Lord Farquaad also coming from the bedroom. Kwang's impersonations are so good, I laugh every time I hear them. In fact, I'm laughing right now thinking of Kwang impersonating John Lithgow as Lord Farquaad. And there is always a huge grin frozen on Jude's face during these story times. If that isn't worthy of a small recognition on Father's Day, I'm not quite sure what is.

I'm not very good at remembering milestones, but I'm pretty sure Jude wasn't using two-word terms at 13 months. Eli has never been in a rush with any milestone, but when it comes to food the boy turns into Baby Einstein. I was surprised the other day when he turned over his empty bowl and said to me, "All done!" But it wasn't a "Yay! I'm all done with my food!" It was more of a "Woman! Can't you see I'm all done with my oranges? Would you get me some more already??!" It was one of those cute but odd moments when I was overwhelmed with adoration for the demanding, thankless little booger.

We went to the L.A. Zoo this weekend with my cousin Danny's family. I consider Danny one of my closest cousins because growing up, our families would visit each other almost every year. Strange to think we're the adults now. It's still hard to wrap my brain around the fact that he's a dad. Come to think of it, he probably thinks the same thing about me being a mom and still thinks of the skinny little girl choreographing a dance to Michael Jackson's "Beat It".

Unfortunately, Kwang's favorite snake exhibit was closed for reconstruction. Judging from a conversation I overheard the night before, I don't think Jude minded:

Kwang: "Jude, do you want to see snakes at the zoo with Ah-bbah?"
Jude: "No."
Kwang: "Okay. Then Eli and Ah-bbah will go see snakes together."
Jude: "And I just go with Uhm-mah and see worms."

Happy Father's Day to all the wonderful dads.

 

A Small Birthday Gift For My Dad

Happy birthday, DAD! I love you very much!

My dad probably isn't even reading my scribble and has already navigated straight to the video clips below. When he sends me emails these days, they are always signed "From Eli & Jude's grandpa." His emails have always been among my favorite. They are so warm and encouraging and I can hear his voice as I read them. Bernie, a friend of mine back in Chicago, also loved my dad's emails and once described them to be "like hello kitty stationery" -- warm and fuzzy and in English written by a Korean. I love it. Don't you wish you could receive an email from my dad now? 

Well, my dad has played golf for as long as I can remember. So I know he will appreciate the following clips. From time to time, Kwang will take Jude to the golf course across the street for some free exercise and entertainment. They will sit on a bench, watch people tee off, and clap for them. The golfers love Jude. In between groups, Jude will set up and tee off. He and Kwang will also spend some time on the practice greens. Notice in this clip how he holds his swing (as Kwang taught him to) after hitting the ball:

In this next clip, I was pretty impressed with how close he got to the pin. But what's cute to us is how he watches the ball after hitting it:

In this final golf clip, you'll see Jude making a fan. A man walks across the screen as Jude hits the ball and while it's difficult to see the man clearly, his dark complexion makes his smile very noticeable.

Eli doesn't have as many skills as his older brother, but here he is trying his hardest to dribble a ball: 

My kids must be good for my health, because they make me smile and laugh all the time.

 

The Day We Had to Carry Eli in a Plastic To-Go Bag

The other weekend we went out to eat Hawaiian BBQ. We enjoyed a nice peaceful meal and were about to get up and leave when I looked down and saw a blob of greenish-brown mush on the floor. I thought to myself, "Strange. I didn't feed Eli green beans." And then I looked directly above the blob and saw that Eli had literally pooped out of his pants, onto the chair, and down to the floor. For a second I thought I had forgotten to put a diaper on him it was THAT BAD. But then I remembered my tendency to underestimate my children. Apparently, my son can take a dump so ferociously that its explosion knows no boundaries. What can I say, he dazzles.

We don't have many traditions, but one of the few is to have a portrait made of each of our children as soon as they turn one year old to have displayed in our home. It also happens to be a tradition to get this portrait done for free with a coupon.

Once we believe our family is complete, we plan to take a family portrait that we will actually, ooh, splurge and pay for. That will also be displayed on our walls, much like the many displayed in my parents' home. It's always fun to stroll down memory lane and remember the time I had short hair and looked like a boy or when I thought big shaker-knit sweater vests were all the rage. If only the studio portraits were full-body shots and showed the baggy jeans I folded tightly at the ankles cutting off the circulation to my feet. All in the name of great fashion, or so I thought. This is why I'm driven to select very plain, boring outfits for my boys to be photographed in. Thus, the plain linen shirt on Jude (seen below) was my choice. Kwang liked the more patterned shirt for Eli, and fortunately the two go well together. This portrait of Jude & Eli warms my heart and for some reason makes me very proud to be a mother of two boys. Let's face it, such times can be few and far between. Many times, the only feeling my two boys conjure in me is that of exhaustion or confusion (see: first paragraph above or every previous xanga entry). For me, they are a full-time ministry in themselves.

Be blessed
Be loved
Be lifted high
Be treasured here
Be glorified
I owe my life to You, Oh Lord
Here I am

Beautiful Jesus.