Little Audrey started standing on her own this past week and took her first steps on Friday, April 17th. She was the slowest of our three to reach this milestone @ almost 13 months. Although I'm not too crazy about the color, I bought the sandals she's wearing below at Target partly because they looked the simplest and most comfortable but mostly because they were labeled "gladiator" sandals. Is that not too cute? Such a fashionista, my Audrey.
This past Monday, the team I'm on at work released the project that has been sucking every ounce of me for the past three months. So I had to stay at the office until almost 1am. We actually ended earlier than I thought. I did have to be up at 6am the next day to work any issues from our release, but the stress and lack of sleep over the last few months weren't the most difficult aspects for me. Hearing how my absence affected Eli was. Although I'm always in the office by the time the boys wake up every morning, Eli woke up the day after my release crying inconsolably for me. Not seeing me for one evening had made him that sad. If it were for any other reason, I probably wouldn't have been as affected. But because it was due to work, I couldn't help feeling a heaviness from guilt. It doesn't matter if I feel I'm doing what's best for my family or not. I think when you become a mother, you just automatically inherit a heightened sense of guilt.
Onto some wonderful news (for those outside of my family who are interested), Kwang will be starting work again this Thursday. I know without a doubt that this was all God and I am again grateful for His goodness. I also don't believe it was a coincidence that Kwang finalized an offer two days after my release. Now I am praying that His grace will cover me as I figure out how to manage my work schedule as a "single mom". I panic whenever I start to think about it, so then I just pray. I never felt this way with one child or two, but I am realizing that it may be impossible for me to juggle a demanding job with three very young children with any degree of gracefulness or success.
Outtakes from today:
Thinking this is what everyone does to people since we all do it to him:
Our two cooperative children:
Yeah, I'm not feeling this one either:
I absolutely adore my kids.
