Tomorrow I'll be going back to work. I enjoy working (minus the stress), but I'm always somewhat surprised when someone says that going to work is easier than staying at home w/your child. I wonder if they've ever done it. Perhaps I'm just not very strong, but I haven't come across many things more difficult to do than entrust my baby to another person's care, no matter how much I trust them and they are family. I find it harder this time, because Eli is only two months old. He's still a baby but smiles so much and loves having me near him. He takes the bottle really well, but selfishly I love nursing him. How can sitting on conference calls or in front of a computer be easier than sitting in front of this guy:
So I have my pictures all ready to take to work and plaster my cubicle walls with. I'm also going to miss morning walks around the lake with Jude. It's really entertaining to see the world through his eyes by what he says and how he says it. Then if it's so hard, why do I work? I think about this a lot. Definitely no one's forcing me to. But as strange as it sounds, I guess I think this is best for our family at this particular time. Being a mother now, I have a growing respect for my own mom, for her sacrifice and diligence as we grew up. Hopefully, one day my kids will think this, too.
When I get moody or emotional (like now), I just have to remember how fortunate I am. Yesterday was my 34th birthday and although I love getting new gifts, these days I'm thankful simply for the husband and children God's already given me. I love my three boys. I think I'm pretty lucky to be able to come home from work to a smile like this:
2 comments:
the expression on jude's face in the last pictures exudes happiness!
jude is soooooooooo spankin' cute! and i love eli's "what you talkin' about willis?" look. too funny. oh-i'm one of those moms who believe that (for me), working is easier than staying home w/the kids. i'm also a more productive mom. kinda sad to say, but very true.
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