Snooze

Weekends are the best. No "work-work" (save cleaning, never-ending laundry, and dishes). Just having fun and relaxing.

Although days of sleeping in on the weekend are but a distant memory, I have the two best alarm clocks. First, Eli wakes me up to feed. This is one of my favorite times of the day. I am amazed that for about the past five months, Eli's life has been sustained by nothing else than what my body has produced. His meals have been completely free! I think I'm alone in my excitement, because Kwang gives me this hello-this-breastfeeding-thing-isn't-new-because-you-also-nursed-Jude look. But I am still amazed. I love sitting in the quiet dark of the early morning, just me and Eli. I can't help annoying him with kisses and squeezing his chubby thighs as he gulps away. A friend of mine once told me that getting married made her finally feel like a "woman". For others, it might have been turning 24 years old. For me, it was having children.

My second alarm clock is Jude. Shortly after feeding Eli and returning to bed, I wake up to the feeling that someone is watching me. That would be Jude. He's the cutest little boy I know. When he wakes up, he doesn't barge vociferously into our room. Rarely a ripe berry on the grumpy tree, he'll just stand next to our bed, holding his blanket, waiting for us to wake up and notice him. So this past Saturday, I placed our camera under my pillow in anticipation of his arrival. Please excuse the blurriness. I'm not the best photographer the second I wake up. But isn't he so cute, patiently waiting for us to open our eyes?

  

Thanks to Kwang's good friend Henry who gave us tickets, Eli got to experience his very first Dodgers game yesterday.

Here is Jude concentrating on catching any potentially stray balls even though it would have been impossible from where we were sitting:

  

Unlike Jude, Eli can be a grumple-puss quite often. I think it's partly because he has a voracious appetite and becomes uncomfortable the second any part of his stomach is empty and partly because, well, he takes after me. I don't consider myself super sensitive or emotional, but I will admit that of the two of us Kwang is the more laidback, happy-go-lucky type. I can hear my sisters in Chicago nodding their heads in agreement as they read this. So while I tried taking a lot of pictures of Eli at his first game, only a few came out without him doing his sad-I'm-about-to-cry frown. I'm not quite sure what a four month old has to look so serious about, but that too is from me. We both have those Christian Slater, almost Jack Nicholson-obnoxious eyebrows. Poor guy!

BTW, the Dodgers won.

 

littlest league

Jude's usual sports of choice are basketball and golf. But these days, he has a growing affinity for baseball. The past two weekends Kwang played a little softball, so the boys and I tagged along. From watching a game, Jude learned that after you hit the ball, you throw the bat down and run the bases. But as you can see from the clip below, he doesn't quite know what or where the bases are. He's just really happy to be out on the field after being contained in the dugout all game. That's why he's running so slowly, just enjoying the field. Either that or he takes after mom.

Unfortunately, now when I come home from work, you'll usually find us in the living room with me holding Eli in one arm while pitching a ball to Jude with the other over and over and over and over again. He's such a cute little slugger that I don't really mind... except when he makes me sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" every time he bats.

 

"It's nooo plob-dum!"

A few days ago, Kwang and Jude were playing catch and I think Kwang was telling Jude to stand at a certain place to catch the ball when Jude nonchalantly responded, "It's no plob-dum! Nooo plob-dum...." (translation: "It's no problem") Kwang and I both started laughing pretty hard, because we had no idea where he had heard the phrase or learned how to use it.

Last Friday, we rented "United 93", a movie about the one hijacked flight on 9/11 that was unsuccessful in reaching its target due to the heroic efforts of its passengers. For the next few days, I kept recalling scenes from the movie where the passengers phoned their loved ones from the air realizing they weren't going to survive. A lump in my throat forms when I imagine what it must have been like to sit on either end of the phone. Back on 9.11.2001, I was in San Francisco on business. I had just started dating Kwang. Now five years later, I have a husband and two kids and I wonder how I would be if something were to happen to any of them. To be honest, I question whether I would be strong enough to go on. It's easy to see from my xanga that my family means the world to me.

   Rome 2003 w/Kwang       With Jude @ 1yr old       With Eli @ 5 days old

      

Well, I happened to listen to a sermon tape this week on Psalm 131, of which Charles Spurgeon once said, "It is one of the shortest psalms to read but one of the longest to learn." I think this is true, at least for me. The psalmist speaks of being complete and content in Christ and Christ alone. I know God wants me to love my family, yet I also know He wants me to hold onto them loosely. This seems like an impossibly tall order for a wife or mother to do. But I think I understand this psalm more because I am one. Eli is only 4 months old, but already we see that many times he only wants to be held by me. I'm the only one he'll cry and look around for and I think it's partly because I am nursing him. Eli wants me because "mom = food". However, Jude wants me simply because I am his mom. In the same way, I want to love God not for what He gives me, but because of who He is. Easier said than done as I examine my heart. I wonder if I can be like the weaned child the psalmist speaks of, happy simply being still by my Father's side. In my journey of faith, that is where I want to be.

Psalm 131

My heart is not proud, O LORD, my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

Like a weaned child with its mother,

Like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD

Both now and forevermore.

Anyway, on a lighter note...

Tagged by jeanxbeanx.

Name 10 of life's simple pleasures.

1. spending Friday evenings with my husband

2. a mocha ice blended drink with FRESHLY made boba

3. listening to Jude sing "Jesus loves Eli" to his younger brother

4. the carpool lane

5. getting a Victoria's Secret coupon in the mail for a FREE cotton... undergarment

6. phonecall from a family member or friend back in Chicago

7. nursing Eli before work

8. painting a room and having it turn out to be the exact color I was hoping for or better

9. a Sunday afternoon nap

10. fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes again

I tag christinaycho

 

Labor Day

Here are a few pictures from the long holiday weekend. After receiving a gentle rebuke for not updating my site since having two sons, I've removed my Jude header and added tickers for both Jude and Eli to remind myself how old they are. And here is a picture of my very loud, very demanding, but very lovable Eli:

And thanks to some gifts from friends, Jude & Eli will have plenty of pictures to be embarrassed about later in life. I like to call this one "the afterbath":

We usually do a little traveling on Labor Day weekend, but this year we stayed home. Kwang's extended family had a get-together which gave us a chance to spend some time w/Bo (Kwang's brother), Bonnie, & their son Justin. Here is Justin with his typical expression:

Justin is a good-natured baby. Bo & Bonnie have it easy! To demonstrate, here is a picture of Eli & Justin:

Okay, perhaps I'm not being completely fair to Eli. He wasn't in the best of moods at the time the picture was taken. But Justin really is quiet and easy. And because I'm Eli's mom, I can't help but find him so adorable in the picture above. Even Eli's frown is cute to me. I think it's true what they say when you have your second child. Instead of having to share your heart that was so full of love for your first child, it's as if you grow another heart for your second child. The capacity God gives such imperfect and selfish creatures like us to love is pretty amazing.

 

1st Day of School

I don't know if you can really call it school, but Jude started going to pre-school yesterday. I used to wonder why people start their kids so early, because they're going to be in school for about the next 20 years which is not much fun in my opinion. But for 2 year olds, it's more like activity time with friends all day. Jude will be going twice a week. I feel blessed to have a son who doesn't panic or cry in these kinds of new situations. Even though he's shy and a little apprehensive, he's still interested in discovery. Unfortunately, he didn't too well at naptime so when I picked him up, he was so tired from the day's activities that he zonked on the ride home.

Here he is ready to conquer the world:

And here he is wanting to show you his cool Thomas and Friends backpack (a gift from his cousin Zach) which contains the all-essential school supplies of blanket, diapers, and extra clothes. What a ham:

Tagged by christinaycho

1. Grab the book nearest you, turn to page 18, line 4? 
“literally means that the value is unknown or indeterminate. (This question alone--)”

(SQL book on my desk)

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What can you touch?
Pictures of Kwang, Jude, & Eli

3. What's the last thing you watched on TV?
Real World/Road Rules Challenge

4. Without looking, what time is it?
7:20am

5. What time is it actually? 
7:25am

6. Except for the computer what can you hear?
white noise in the office

7. When did you last step outside and what were you doing?
This morning to throw out the garbage

8. Before you started this survey what were you doing?
Eating a donut and drinking hot chocolate

9. What are you wearing? 
A brown sleeveless sweater with beige cropped pants

10. Did you dream last night? 
Probably, but I rarely remember my dreams (except when I’m pregnant—then they are vivid and make no sense)

11. When did you last laugh?
Last night in bed. Kwang and I were just talking… talking about our day, this and that, our kids. He makes me laugh all the time.

12. What's on the walls in the room you're in?    
(cube) Pictures of my family, project schedule, Jude’s daily school schedule, list of network server IP addresses.

13. Seen anything weird?
This isn’t really weird, just something that makes me wonder. Occasionally, I see these two “small people” (I think that’s the pc term for midget) at the Winchell’s Donut shop I frequent. One of them has a truck and when they get in, I wonder how he can reach the brake and accelerator.

14. What do you think of this quiz?
No one’s going to be very interested. They will just be thinking, “Where are the Jude & Eli pictures??” That’s why I think I will have to save this and post it when I have pictures to add.

15. Last film or video seen?
“Inside Man” w/Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, & Jodie Foster. Pretty good.

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight what's the first thing you'd do?
Pay off my family and my husband’s family’s debts and allocate enough for all our retirements & children’s college tuitions. That is exciting to me.

17. Tell me something I don't know about yourself?
Well, you now know I like watching trashy TV shows like “Real World/Road Rules Challenge”, “The Hills”, “Bachelor”, “Access Hollywood”...

18. If you could change one thing about the world regardless of politics what would it be? 
Everyone would come to know Jesus Christ. I wish I wasn’t so apathetic about this.

19. Do you like to dance?
Does dancing to Wiggles songs w/my son count?

20. What comment would you like to make to George Bush? 
Are you sure you know what you’re doing?

21. Your first child is a girl what do you name her?
Sophie. But at this rate, I think I am only going to have boys.

22. Your first child is a boy what do you name him?
JUDE

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
I’ve always wanted to live in Korea for about a year or two because I think that would be the ONLY way I would learn the language well enough to speak conversationally to some depth.

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
My child.

25. Five people you want to do this quiz? I tag:
grocery, hsim, schmoomoo, westside_sooj, janejchang23