When Jude was a newborn I didn't think he was physically cute. Yes, I am proof that not all mothers think their babies are cute. Of course, it could also be that I am the only one. As an infant, Jude charmed many with his mellow and good-natured personality, but trust me, if you saw his baby pictures I know you would agree with me deep inside. That's okay, though, because I have always believed that unattractive infants can only get cuter over time. And now, well now I can't get enough of my Jude. I definitely think he's gotten much easier on the eyes, but that coupled more importantly with his delightful and charming personality make me just want to eat him. At least once everyday. Pour a little ketchup on and gobble him up.
Of course, as a Christian I also believe we are all born with a sinful nature. And my son is no exception. So Kwang and I feel that discipline is a necessity in our home. I think every child and parent is different and what works for one family may not work for another. Some disagree with our approach and feel it is unnecessary because Jude is "naturally" well-behaved. We believe he is well-behaved due in large part to our discipline. Contrary to what I thought growing up in my parents' home, I've learned in two years that much of parenting is more painful for the parent than it is for the child. I'm constantly fighting the urge to do what's easier for me in order to do what we feel is ultimately best for our child. Sleep training, feeding, disciplining, and on and on.
Well, the other day Jude was being defiant. Yes, my little angel was bullying my littler angel.
"Why would anyone want to pick on me?"
Since Kwang wasn't home, I had the unwanted task of being the disciplinarian. When Jude gets a meh-meh, it doesn't hurt but he doesn't like it. After all, it is about breaking the will, not the bum. But while I always make a point to tell him I don't like punishing him but need to when he's being disobedient, I didn't realize how obvious it was to him until the other day. As soon as I gave him a meh-meh, he got up, put his hand on my shoulder and said, "It's okay, Uhmmah.... it's okay" as if to tell me that though punishment is unpleasant, I'll be alright.
My delightful and charming son.
11 comments:
your jude is sensitive and considerate....evidence of your guys' terrific parenting! thanks for always keeping it real!
that's a GREAT story! i love jude stories - he's such a little character. gosh, i want to "pour ketchup and gobble up" eli in that picture, and the caption goes along with it perfectly!
his knack for humor and sensitivity is uncanny. he could not be any cuter.
yes, i will have to 'fess up that i can't imagine any reason for jude having to be disciplined b/c he is so perfecT! but yes, yes, yes, you are right that we are all sinful in nature, blah, blah, blah....can't dispute GOD's WORD! but STILL! jude doing that?!?! can't imagine...are you sure it was bullying or just plain 'ole hyung like LOVIN'?!???? =P
i can't imagine jude bullying anybody. he's so kind and sweet! you guys are doing a great job raising him. your stories about your sons always make me smile!
Hi Lisa..you probably won't remember me... I know you from the OLD, OLD, OLD Calvary days when I went there in elementary school. I came upon your site through Peter Cho's site...and just wanted to say 'hello'. Your kids seem adorable!!! Hope you're doing well! Elvira
lisa: you need to have a girl. I think discipling boys is much easier than girls. when I give abigail a meh-meh, she screams as if to say "how dare you?!" With Caleb, I just walk towards the kitchen to get the meh-meh stick and he's put back in his place. The joys of parenting. Btw, I didn't think Abigail was cute (at all!) when she was born.
Your story makes me smile. I don't know Jude all that well since I haven't gotten to spend much quality time with him, but he seems like a very smart & wise boy not to mention adorable. You will have to post a pic of him with his "big lips" kiss. PLEASE!! That makes me crack up. It's so weird still thinking of all you guys with kids...I think in my head I'm still trapped in a time warp that takes me back to high school...I mean, my long johns has 2 boys?? And onyxlox gardens?? Who could have predicted?? BTW, with a 4x4 lawn, just lay down w/some scissors and snip, snip. You should have your "lawn" clipped in a jiffy. :) LA and NJ...again...who wouldah thought, huh? Well, I miss you Miss LongJohns and it's good to talk again...give your 2 munchkins a hug & kiss for me.
I have two sisters, but you'd probably only remember one, since the other one wasn't born til we left calvary. the one you might remember is Sarah. Joe and Hyug (dave) are our cousins as well. It was a LONG time ago, so I don't expect you to remember...but you look exactly the same from years ago! I hope your sisters are doing well too! You guys were all very nice in my memory
Jude is one strange cat. He's got very little fear of the stick. My weapon of choice is the Home Depot mixing stick for 1 gallon paint. Most of the times when I give him meh meh, he stays silent throughout the whole process...not one wimper...usually I meh meh him firm enough to leave that bit of red, boo wuh suh mark. And those times that I step up the heat, he goes "Ouch!"...no wimper, or crying, just "hey! ouch!", and then gets up happily like its nothing...so now I've been tinkering with discipline combos. Combo 1 - meh meh and pep talk. Combo 2 - timeouts (which we did when he was younger and he treated it like his little play area...but now he doesn't like as much) and pep talk. Combo 3 House Special - meh meh and then time out and then pep talk. Combo 4 (yet to be given) - meh meh, time out, and then more meh meh. I gotta keep Jude guessing. Maybe I should add Combo 5 - meh meh with 5 gallon mixing stick.
Eli...I don't think I can ever meh meh him. He's so sensitive, and he hates my guts. Always looking for his mommy when I'm holding him. I think the key to meh meh is knowing that discipline is a as great or greater demonstation of love than playing with your kids or giving them gifts, and also having confidence that your son loves you and will love you more for it (which means I'll start with Eli when he's 10.)
I am not a parent...but I believe discipline and meh meh although hard, is neccessary...It must be hard though to do that because your kids are so cute. I can see why you would want to gobble him up... those cheeks with a little bit of honey mustard probably would be quite delicious.
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