Why I Look Forward To 4:30pm Each Day

Dookie Surprises

Eli loves to do what his brother does, but the other week he took it to a level I never anticipated. While taking the boys a bath, Jude had to go #2. So he came out, sat on the toilet, and did his business. After drying him off I looked to find that Eli also decided to take a dump-- in the bathtub. My freshly bathed Eli in a sea of his own poop. And of course, it couldn't be just hard little pellets. It had to be of the soft, mushy, non-constipated variety, the kind you hope to see... in a diaper... not in a pool of bath water... with your kid standing in the middle of it. Large brown masses mixed with grains of brown and black rice floating EVERYWHERE. My love MUST be unconditional because I just had to laugh (and gag) at the sight of a very innocent and confused Eli.

Eli and his best friend Buddy (whom he named himself):

Well, it certainly wasn't the most stellar week for me as a daughter-in-law. I've always said that I feel very fortunate to have the mother-in-law that I do. I've seen korean dramas, I've heard other women's stories, I know I am lucky. I've seen my mother-in-law almost everyday for the past two years. I speak with her in korean by diligently using all five words I know, but she never complains about my butchering the language. She's not demanding, except for our sake like when we want to give her more money and she tries to refuse. She's generally a very pleasant person to be around.

On the flip side, there are many things she does that my own mother would be shocked to see me patiently live with or let slip without complaint. Trust me, that is NOT the Lisa the Lord blessed her with whom she spent painstaking years to raise. But when you see your mother-in-law as regularly as I do, it's silly not to know you have to pick your battles. The only area I try to stand firm on is the caretaking of my sons. So the biggest area I struggle with is the spoiling of my sons on a daily basis. There came a point when we contemplated my quitting work because of this. I didn't like what I saw in Jude's behavior towards his grandmother and I felt my absence was to blame. While I realize my mother-in-law is their grandmother and thus intrinsically unable to discipline them to the level we do, I don't think it's too much to ask her to refuse them certain simple things since Jude is now three and understands a level of reasoning. If you need proof that a toddler will naturally test the boundaries set by an adult, spend a day with Jude. He knows what he can get away with when w/grandma that he can't get away with when w/mom.

Jude loves to reenact scenes from Disney's "Cars" while watching the movie:

Well, my mother-in-law allowed something to happen this past week that, how shall I put this, caused the tiny threads holding together my sanity to snap. I was upset because my mother-in-law could not simply refuse Jude something he threw a tantrum for and should not have had. The blessing of not knowing much korean is that I can't throw a tantrum myself. So I said what little I could in a surprisingly calm manner and then got pretty quiet. Well, this was the most upset I have seen my mother-in-law because she wouldn't speak to me the next day.  After a depressing day of wondering why she could be so mad, it turns out it was because of an assumption she had made about a totally different topic that was completely wrong. Confused?  So was I. In any case, after she realized this things were good again. Phew...

Mother-in-law's birthday celebration with a cake Jude & Eli made and decorated themselves:

One thing I was reminded of through this is how fortunate I am to have Kwang as a husband. Feel free to roll your eyes and stop reading. He is compassionate towards his mom yet loyal to his wife. Most men don't have to deal with their mom and wife seeing each other everyday. It's crazy that I see her more than she sees her own husband and sons. Even at times like this when I don't understand my mother-in-law, Kwang will let her know when he thinks I am right but he is still sympathetic towards her. I told him if anything, I hope Jude & Eli are as lenient to me one day. Of course, I will NEVER be as confusing as Kwang's mom, right? But in the inconceivable, off-chance that I am I asked him to remind me of this time, because I hope I never put my daughter-in-law in such a depressing situation. Especially when the season of The Hills just ended and she doesn't have anything better to numb her senses and rot her brain with.

Of course, if a grown-up Eli isn't even a little sympathetic towards his crazy mom, I'll have to remind him of the day I lovingly rescued and sanitized him from a tub full of his own poop a long, long time ago.

 

So This Must Be What The Tuition Is For

This past Thursday, I had a parent/teacher's conference with Jude's pre-school teacher. If you're shocked that I have a parent/teacher's meeting for my three year old son, you're not the only one. You should have seen my face when they brought out a REPORT CARD FOR HIM. I wonder if Jude's teacher questions if I should be responsible for a young child. While she kept reiterating how concerned other parents were with their child's educational and developmental progress, my comments were flavored more with, "Wow! Jude knows all that?" or "You mean they don’t just play?" Turns out, our Jude is "above age-appropriate" in his development. This was great to know, but education really wasn't our intention for putting him in pre-school so early. I know, it's strange that I'm Korean, eh? Our main purpose was for Jude to have more social interaction with peers. He is by nature very shy… like his mommy. No, really, I am. I think that's why I type more than I talk. 

Then on Friday afternoon, my company held a Children's Holiday Party. I told Jude that my company was throwing this party because they wanted to thank him and Eli for letting me go to work. It was very festive with carolers and Santa helpers. The kids got to do fun things such as decorate their own Christmas cookies, although Eli was mainly interested in eating his:

We also got to see a magic show which Jude loved. He was even selected to participate in a trick. I think it's so cute how Eli always looks like Jude's little shadow like in the picture below. I thought the magician was so hilarious and entertaining, which made me then think I need to get out more:

Finally, the party ended with a traditional picture with Santa, whom Eli didn't like very much:

As we were loading them into the car after the party, Jude commented, "It was a good time." So while I do enjoy our company's "grown-up" holiday parties, this one by far brought me the most joy.

 

Going Green

This past week may have been both the easiest and hardest for me this year, because I had to travel to both Dallas and Palm Springs on business. It was the easiest in the sense that I didn't have to come home everyday to a pachillion things to do and take care of. But it was the hardest in the sense that I missed my family. The guilt I feel on a daily basis as a working mother was magnified a hundred fold, to say the least. No matter how much you feel you're doing the right thing for your family, the self-reproach is palpable. Kwang is an incredibly capable father, so I didn't have to worry. But it was still a lot of work for him, so I think all those fathers out there with wives as stay-at-home mothers should be very thankful! Needless to say, I also feel those wives should be grateful for the luxury they are afforded. I've never been away from the boys for even a day so there was a very distinct void. I almost felt my body twitch because a little toddler hadn't rammed into my gut in the last few minutes or someone wasn't crying "Uhmmah!" to come save him from his brother. Although these days, Jude has been mixing it up a bit and calling me "Lisa" from time to time. And Eli, being his shadow, has been doing the same… "EEESA!"

So we spent the weekend decking our halls, not with boughs of holly but with a wonderful fake Christmas tree. Call it our contribution to "going green!", the buzz phrase I hear everywhere these days. We'll be helping planet earth by saving trees for years to come for the one-time sale price of $48. The pictures are somewhat dark because I wanted to capture our fake tree in all its "pre-lit" goodness:

I'm no Martha Stewart by any stretch of the imagination, so I found it hugely challenging to decorate a tree in a somewhat decent fashion that is safe and kid-friendly for a home with boys three years old and under. Almost all the beautiful ornaments are glass which won't do when you have a one year old whose first inclination is to grab anything round and shiny and then throw it. Fortunately, I was able to find some that looked like glass as well as ornaments of the sports and transportation variety- perfect for Jude & Eli! And then I had to wrap each ornament around the branch at least three times. The whole purpose, really, is to make the holidays warm and festive for my kids as my parents did for me. So I'm really happy the boys love seeing the tree every day and playing "I spy" with the various ornaments. Here is Eli spying the choo choo train: 

Of course, his favorite is probably the football: 

And thanks to some wonderful gift cards, I got Jude and Eli stockings this year. Since I'm fairly frugal, I plan to put a whopping $1 matchbox car in each of them for Christmas. My plan is to always aim low so the boys will continually be thrilled at the smallest things. I told Kwang that I'd like the kids to grow up fully experiencing holiday cheer in the home and the necessity to take cheesy pictures by the tree. Okay, maybe not so much the latter. We'll see how long this lasts with two boys.