No matter how sleepy I am at 5am, I am somehow able to scoot my way to Audrey's room, scoop her up, and nestle into the glider to spend the first peaceful minutes of my day with her. And in my half-awake, half-dead state, I am stirred to lift up a prayer of thanksgiving for my healthy little peanut. It's already been one year.
I had to stay at home from church today due to an unexpected problem at work. At first, I was frustrated and bitter that work has somehow taken over my life for the past month and a half. But now that it is evening and I just put Audrey down for the night, I am able to realize that this was probably one of the best days I've had in a long time. A day spent with just Audrey.
And what a perfect day it was to spend with my little girl since today is her first birthday. After a heated debate where Kwang did not want a big party and I wanted some sort of a party (since we threw parties for both of our boys), we compromised with a quaint celebration with family and each of our best friends yesterday at Maggiano's Little Italy @ The Grove.
There is so much about Audrey that I love. So much that I appreciate. Although I considered both of our boys bright at this age, I feel Audrey's personality makes her the most aware and expressive. She may not know how to talk, but she will let me know if she wants me to read her a book by banging the book on my face. Or she'll let me know if she wants the cheerios that are in a container by banging the entire container on my face. Not the most pleasant pattern of expression, but cute nonetheless. It's cute to me because I hope she will always come to me when in need. I also hope to have the deepest and closest relationship with Audrey out of all of my kids. Not because I love her the most, but because she is my girl and I pray I will be the kind of mother she will find comfort in and want to share deeply with. Who knows if that will happen, but that is my hope.
Perhaps the most adorable difference I have found between Audrey and the boys is that I don't have to force her to do any awkward cuddling. She volunteers it herself. If I'm sitting on the floor cleaning up toys or filing through mail, she will suddenly out of nowhere lunge her body onto mine every few minutes to use me as a human pillow. Or she'll climb onto my lap and press her head against my torso and smile sweetly. It really is the cutest thing to me.
I know these things aren't spectacular, but these are the kind of memories I like to store up as a mother. The other day, after she banged a container on my face and I gave her some cheerios, Audrey turned to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I don't think there is any amount of money, fortune, or success in this world that could make me feel as blessed as I did in those few seconds.
Happy birthday, sweetie pie! How old are you?
"One!"
