Tuesday, March 30, 2010

March Madness

Our little Audrey turned two years old this month! Sadly, my baby is not such a baby anymore. In fact, she sometimes refers to me as "Lisa". How do I stop time? She is so adorable to me at this age that when she does something cute, I can't stop squeezing her or nibbling her chubby cheeks. Sometimes I end up swallowing her whole and when Kwang comes home from work and asks, "Where's Audrey?" I have to confess, "I ate her."
But she has caught onto our weakness and whether it's for a sweet treat or a few extra waking minutes before bedtime, she knows she can use her cuteness very cleverly... as leverage. So by all indications we are slowly raising a hostage negotiator.
I met with Jude's kindergarten teacher for a parent-teacher conference last week and discovered that our Jude is a pretty bright kid. During testing week he was the only one in his class who answered all math questions correctly. If it weren't for his obnoxious ears, I'd question if he was really my son. I was a pretty mediocre student and am now a pretty mediocre mom. So you might say I have spent years perfecting my mediocrity. I now accept it and embrace it and snuggle with it under the covers. There were things I excelled in, but as my luck would have it I received awards for things like best handwriting, spelling, or most useful of all, poetry and creative writing. If you hadn't noticed, these are things that come in really handy now that I work in I.T. where I spend hours on the computer typing... with auto-spell checker... and nothing remotely related to poetry. All this to say, I attribute Jude's performance more to the unimpressive API of his school than anything else. In any event, I am thankful Jude is doing well academically.
There has been, however, one unfortunate situation that has occurred in the cold cruel world of kindergarten. While he is well liked in his class, there was a child on the kindergarten playground who for some reason wouldn't allow Jude to shoot the basketball around at recess. This kid Armando (a name to be uttered with a slightly disapproving tone) also told all the other boys that only he could decide who plays. Having been taught to respectfully ask others if he can play with them, Jude would ask Armando every day if he could shoot around with them only to be denied. Every. Single. Day. So my boy who loves playing ball was left to find other kids playing something else, all because of one unkind person. The sad thing is, Jude shared this with me only after I had asked him how he likes recess and he told this to me very matter of factly, as if it was simply a way of life. But being his mother, my heart broke thinking of him watching from the sidelines. Fortunately, Armando has since apologized and now plays ball together with Jude.

Although he may not be intimidating off the court, Jude will hopefully grow into a force to be reckoned with on. Not too bad for a 5 year old:
I don't think my Spanky will encounter these troubles on the playground, because c'mon... who can deny this face?
Yes, Eli. Yes, we do.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Toot Toot

It's been about three months since I last posted and while you might think there's been a whole lot of growing up going on in our home, let me remind you we are a family that does not impress. That is, unless your definition of impressive is passing gas on command. Because if so, we have a winner! I came home a few weeks ago to find that my mother-in-law and Audrey spent the day perfecting a stupid human trick. When asking, "How does Grandma fart?" I kid you not this is what Audrey will do:


Really, I don't ask for much. Feed them. Keep them alive. You can even teach my kid to fart at will, but can you at least teach one of my sons instead of my only daughter? We did get a good laugh out of it and we still think our Audrey is cute as a button. She is at the same time the most entertaining and scariest of our kids at this age. I don't remember the boys being this goofy. But when her brothers steal her toys to annoy her, watch out. It's gotten a bit worse in the last few months, because while her screams of frustration used to be pretty shrilltastic, these days she is so not kidding about the shrillness.

Last week, Kwang had to go out of the country on business. Fortunately, it was a good excuse to have my mom visit from Chicago which made for a wonderfully pleasant week. But the night Kwang was in the air on his 20+ hour plane ride back home, I got a phone call that woke me up at 1:40am. So of course, a phone call at ridiculous o'clock only meant one of two logical things to me: 1) my husband's plane crashed and he died or 2) MY HUSBAND'S PLANE CRASHED AND HE DIED. To my relief, it was American Airlines calling to tell me my mom's upcoming flight was canceled. But boy was that ever cruel timing!
Kwang brought a few things back for the kids and among them was this $3 shirt for Eli, because Eli loves school about as much as I love automated phone calls in the middle of the night:
I think my mom's visit last week left her traumatized by the daily schedule I have to maintain. It's no wonder I have been feeling a tremendous amount of guilt lately for not being able to put Jude in after-school activities like basketball or soccer. Unless I can find a way to clone myself, I'm going to have to figure something out soon before the only skill my kids will have mastered by high school is the hula hoop. Or farting on command.