Dookie Surprises

Eli loves to do what his brother does, but the other week he took it to a level I never anticipated. While taking the boys a bath, Jude had to go #2. So he came out, sat on the toilet, and did his business. After drying him off I looked to find that Eli also decided to take a dump-- in the bathtub. My freshly bathed Eli in a sea of his own poop. And of course, it couldn't be just hard little pellets. It had to be of the soft, mushy, non-constipated variety, the kind you hope to see... in a diaper... not in a pool of bath water... with your kid standing in the middle of it. Large brown masses mixed with grains of brown and black rice floating EVERYWHERE. My love MUST be unconditional because I just had to laugh (and gag) at the sight of a very innocent and confused Eli.

Eli and his best friend Buddy (whom he named himself):

Well, it certainly wasn't the most stellar week for me as a daughter-in-law. I've always said that I feel very fortunate to have the mother-in-law that I do. I've seen korean dramas, I've heard other women's stories, I know I am lucky. I've seen my mother-in-law almost everyday for the past two years. I speak with her in korean by diligently using all five words I know, but she never complains about my butchering the language. She's not demanding, except for our sake like when we want to give her more money and she tries to refuse. She's generally a very pleasant person to be around.

On the flip side, there are many things she does that my own mother would be shocked to see me patiently live with or let slip without complaint. Trust me, that is NOT the Lisa the Lord blessed her with whom she spent painstaking years to raise. But when you see your mother-in-law as regularly as I do, it's silly not to know you have to pick your battles. The only area I try to stand firm on is the caretaking of my sons. So the biggest area I struggle with is the spoiling of my sons on a daily basis. There came a point when we contemplated my quitting work because of this. I didn't like what I saw in Jude's behavior towards his grandmother and I felt my absence was to blame. While I realize my mother-in-law is their grandmother and thus intrinsically unable to discipline them to the level we do, I don't think it's too much to ask her to refuse them certain simple things since Jude is now three and understands a level of reasoning. If you need proof that a toddler will naturally test the boundaries set by an adult, spend a day with Jude. He knows what he can get away with when w/grandma that he can't get away with when w/mom.

Jude loves to reenact scenes from Disney's "Cars" while watching the movie:

Well, my mother-in-law allowed something to happen this past week that, how shall I put this, caused the tiny threads holding together my sanity to snap. I was upset because my mother-in-law could not simply refuse Jude something he threw a tantrum for and should not have had. The blessing of not knowing much korean is that I can't throw a tantrum myself. So I said what little I could in a surprisingly calm manner and then got pretty quiet. Well, this was the most upset I have seen my mother-in-law because she wouldn't speak to me the next day.  After a depressing day of wondering why she could be so mad, it turns out it was because of an assumption she had made about a totally different topic that was completely wrong. Confused?  So was I. In any case, after she realized this things were good again. Phew...

Mother-in-law's birthday celebration with a cake Jude & Eli made and decorated themselves:

One thing I was reminded of through this is how fortunate I am to have Kwang as a husband. Feel free to roll your eyes and stop reading. He is compassionate towards his mom yet loyal to his wife. Most men don't have to deal with their mom and wife seeing each other everyday. It's crazy that I see her more than she sees her own husband and sons. Even at times like this when I don't understand my mother-in-law, Kwang will let her know when he thinks I am right but he is still sympathetic towards her. I told him if anything, I hope Jude & Eli are as lenient to me one day. Of course, I will NEVER be as confusing as Kwang's mom, right? But in the inconceivable, off-chance that I am I asked him to remind me of this time, because I hope I never put my daughter-in-law in such a depressing situation. Especially when the season of The Hills just ended and she doesn't have anything better to numb her senses and rot her brain with.

Of course, if a grown-up Eli isn't even a little sympathetic towards his crazy mom, I'll have to remind him of the day I lovingly rescued and sanitized him from a tub full of his own poop a long, long time ago.